I've postponed it until the beginning of March now so that I can get the hard few weeks at work out of the way. I'm doubting that i'll be able to stick to it (or any diet) any better then though. I'm rapidly gaining weight and i'm depressed to the max. I just don't know how to get a handle on things.
Why can't I stop binge eating?
Today when I drove home I thought about what I would do when I got home from work. I felt so depressed about my life (or lack thereof) that it felt empty to go home and have nothing to 'look forward to'. My mind drew me to the conclusion that there was no point in not eating because then I would be depressed and lonely. Of course the whole reason for my feeling depressed and lonely is my weight and of course, the eating then led to me feeling those negative emotions a billion times more than I would anyway. I feel like such a loser - surely I should just be able to stick to a diet but apparently losing my figure, my self-esteem, my friendships and my social life is a small price to pay to be able to gorge on JUNK FOOD!
After my binges I feel like tomorrow will be the day that I stick to the diet but tomorrow comes and the same thing happens again.
I thought about scrapping this blog and starting again, I feel stupid for setting myself this challenge and FAILING spectacularly - but I didn't want to so i'm here moaning instead and making excuses yet again. I don't think anyones reading anyway.
I think that i've given up the fight. I'll post again when I stop being a waste of space.
Heres Frankie looking beyond gorgeous:
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