I'm trying this thing again. Things are getting ridiculous.
I just want to get down to a reasonble weight and get rid of all of my food-related issues. Its so frustrating, like I cannot do a damn thing right. I feel uncomfortable with every morsel that passes my lips and this causes binges. I know i'm unhappy, I dislike my job and I have cut myself off from my friends/think everyone hates me - I know this 'feeds' my problems.
I want to say I have an eating disorder but feel that this is an excuse and I don't have the right to use that term. I wish I had some readers who could offer their opinions.
So i'm making an attempt to re-start. I have to try to remain positive and try again. I really have no other choice. I'm resentful about how much have my life i've wasted on this thing. I cannot start my life again until i'm thin - its as simple as that.
I still want to use Frankie as my thinspiration, though I can't picture myself being like her in any way. I just feel I have lost all of my motivation but I have to do something.
The book I was reading says expect it to be one step forward two steps back.....
